Hugs Hurt Sometimes

Today my hubby had the day off, and I had a phone call for Medicaid. So we were both up around the same time. He stepped over to give me a hug.

I couldn't stop the tears from knowing how bad it would hurt.

Being the loving husband that he is, he started to move away. But I needed the contact, and sobbed for a moment in his arms.

I wonder how much this hurts him. I know it does.

Sure, chronic illness is hard on the patient. But it's hard on the loved ones, too, and they need as much support as they can get!

The Chronic Illness and Relationship Series: The Circle of Illness

*Warning: Has a cuss word at the end. Just so you know.*

My prayer today is that today's blog post will make sense. I just came down with a cold, my meds are all screwed up, and I didn't sleep a wink last night.

However, I just got a glimpse of a post on a friend's Facebook page that made me realize that I really need to write this! This person has cancer, so it's all the more relevant in their situation.

Behold, I give you: 

The Circle of Illness

*Non-sups= non-supportive people

I know, it's a really crappy rendition, but this is my circle in a nutshell. In case you haven't realized it, I'm sick and have a lot of junk going on in my body that makes me feel like *insert every expletive known to man here* pretty much all the time. It is what it is.

Every person with an illness, whether it's chronic, terminal, or somewhere in between, has their own circle. (Yep, that means you.)

So here's your challenge. Now that you've seen my circle, grab a piece of scrap paper and make your own. I'm not kidding. Do it. It doesn't take long. Write down names.

Now, seeing as how YOU are the center of your illness circle, look at each name. Think about that person. Are they putting positive in or are they putting negative in. If they're putting positive in, that's wonderful! They're a keeper! If they're putting negative in.... well, you may need to re-evaluate that relationship.

Since I'm really starting to need my Kleenex, I'm going to leave it at that for now and revisit our circle fun at a later date. But if you are saddened at the realization that someone you thought loved you is only putting negative into your circle, don't fret. You don't have to do anything right now but recognize it. And feel free to kick them the freak out of your circle. 

I've done it. It sucked. It still does suck! But am I better for it. You bet your medicine cabinet I am!

Til later,

Pain free wishes and kickin' bitches outta your circle dreams,

Leanna

Chronic Illness and Relationships: A Series

Recently I've had to take a good hard look at my relationships with both family and friends as a result of hateful, hurtful verbal attacks. I refer to these as attacks as I have simply not responded to these uneducated, ignorant remarks. As a result, I've decided to start a series of posts discussing the issues anyone with chronic illness faces when it comes to relationships.

I've also started looking at what the Bible says regarding these sorts of things. Before you decide to dismiss these posts since I am approaching this from a Biblical perspective, not every post will be filled with Bible verses. While I feel very strongly about my faith, I also respect those of other viewpoints. Even if you think the Christian faith is a bunch of bologna, you have to admit there are some great kernels of advice in the Bible.

This series will be quite personal, but I believe that the chronic illness community needs more people who are willing to be authentic about their situation and failings, as well as the stark reality of living with illness. Many of the topics and situations I discuss will be applicable in other situations as well, and hopefully will provide anyone who doesn't suffer from an invisible malady a glimpse into our world.

Since this is a very broad topic, I'll open it up to you. What do you want me to address? What issues/problems are you having?

More Priorities

Don't you think this blog is pretty? No? Neither do I. It looks incredibly awful and I will be the first to admit it. But right now... it's just not a priority.

The result of a search for "virtuous woman." Hehehe!

In all honesty, I must admit that while I do want to help people, it's stinking hard to keep yourself  accountable when all you want to do is take a Benadryl and sleep... all the time. But is that what the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs would do? Definitely not! While Christ is of course my ultimate example and strength, it certainly helps to have a female role model. (But I bet she didn't have fibromyalgia and more additional diagnoses than she can count!)

So, while I hope eventually others gain hope and inspiration and all sorts of other warm fuzzies from this blog, right now I need some accountability- and this seems like the best option.

Two days into the routine and it's going OK, aside from the fact that the routines were not followed either day! However, the general routine was indeed followed, and considering that I'm still weak from some unknown illness, that's pretty good!

Repetitive movement = ow!

Yesterday morning two rows of the garden were planted (yay!) and today I did some much-needed laundry, while still getting some work done- yet another example of how anyone with fibro has to CONSTANTLY prioritize. (Yes, I needed clean clothes.)

Granted, this can make some relationships difficult. However, anyone who truly loves and cares for myself and my husband refuses to take cancellations personally and understands that this is simply how life is. Unfortunately, this sometimes means that family members and friends who we care for must essentially be "dumped." If someone makes you feel worse instead of better, they need to go. Fibro causes enough pain without stress- relationships that bring more negative into your life than positive will only make you feel worse.

I am again well aware that this post has gone far off topic, but this is what is on my heart today. Keep taking those baby steps!